I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
