hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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