so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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