Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
