just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
