If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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