how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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