I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
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God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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