ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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