I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
