1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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