Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize