It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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