You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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