we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
