How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
