you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
