I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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