do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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