And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
