Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
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I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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