Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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