The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
