ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
