I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
