The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
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All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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