just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
