Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
