bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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