i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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