wat bout pragnant strippers??
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
