i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
