um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
