apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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