u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
