i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
