Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize