The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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