hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
