I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
