Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
