Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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