I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
