im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
