haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
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Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
where are my eyebrows?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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