I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
