Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
