I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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