nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
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The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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