I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
