The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
two words: eviction party
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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