What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
