i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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