i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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