Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
