I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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