So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
