i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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