Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
