For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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