You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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