I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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