shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
