But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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