you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
